Nobody quite knows why you can show up three minutes before the bus leaves but have to spend hours hanging around waiting to catch a plane. Once you’ve checked in, gone through security, it’s typically a case of hurry up and wait. Factor in connections, cancellations and delays and travellers today know all about the great challenge to kill time at an airport. Stuck for hours in Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport, here are some suggestions that might help.
1. Talk
People around you are bored out of their minds too so any attempt to engage a fellow passenger is sure to be met with some success. Although airports are not nearly as friendly as forests, they’re a lot more amenable to conversation than nightclubs. Simply turn to the nearest person and ask: “Do you feel like talking to a complete stranger because my eyes are glazing over and I’m starting to lose consciousness from boredom.” As a result, I’ve had conversations with everyone from CEOs to construction workers, made friends in high and low places, but most importantly, killed minutes connecting with real live human beings.
2. Shop
Since most airports are refashioned shopping malls the trick here is to not actually buy anything. Kill time, save money. Wander from shop to shop, try the free samples and make notes of prices to compare to the non-duty free (mostly cheaper) versions back home. Try on expensive sunglasses, handbags and watches. Feel kitsch souvenirs and allow your eyes to feast but your credit card to relax. You don’t need anything other than distraction and, fortunately, airport shops offer that free of charge.
3. Look
People watching is always fun, all it takes is a little imagination. Simply look around, choose a person, and create their personal history. Notice what they’re wearing, their mood, their posture. Now mind every book or movie you’ve ever seen and see how deep you can descend into character. As I’m typing this I’m looking up. A man in a suit with a pinkish English complexion is playing games on his cell phone. OR IS HE? He’s actually an arms dealer, although his wife believes he sells vacuum cleaners. He’s having an affair with his best friend’s nanny and the game on his phone allows them to correspond in code. He grew up on military bases…hell, I’ve just killed five minutes in my mind and I should have been writing.
4. Write
Writing encompasses working (emails, projects, reports) but you needn’t be limited if you’re lacking a laptop. Pick up a couple of postcards from the bookstore and get busy penning short tidbits of useless information. In our digital age we forget the romantic, somewhat exotic thrill of receiving a postcard from foreign (or even domestic) shores. Sure, you could write a letter, but postcards are the perfect length to keep things exciting. Mailing them off when you get home doesn’t take anything away from the destination on the front either.
5. Hunt
Our ancestors spent their hours hunting to kill animals. We spend our hours hunting to kill time. Things to hunt for: free wireless signals – If you see a guy walking around an airport holding his laptop like a water diviner holds his sticks, he’s a signal hunter. Hunt for bargains, romantic partners, a free plug to charge your laptop or cell phone (note to airports: install some plugs so we don’t have to unplug the damn vending machines). Hunt for a stretch of floor to sleep on, a clean toilet, a charity bucket to deposit useless foreign coins, a shop that sells toothpaste since yours was confiscated at security. Just remember that not all hunters returned with a kill and the exercise should always be more about wasting time, and less about frustration.
6. Read
